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Sometimes, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “detached from reality”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms online – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had independently formed that realization personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been called narcissists for more than a century, definitions vary what the term implies the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people hide it, due to widespread prejudice linked to the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although up to 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are males, findings indicates this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the covert form, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and take advice from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked positive role models in her youth. “I’ve been learning over the years what is suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions through national services (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: The estimate was it is likely to occur early next year.”

He has shared with a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number